- St. Thomas of the Superfluous Ear Hair
- St. Jchn the Bpptist, patron of cheap designer knockoffs
- St. Jackie of the Indeterminate Gender
- St. Street of the Easily Mistaken Directions
- Sts. Tommy K and the Badger of the Hott 93.5 Morning Madhouse
- St. Lucifer the Going Through A Phase To Annoy His Parents
- St. Nancy Who Always Hangs Around The Copy Machine Asking People If They’re Using It For Work-Related Purposes Even Though That’s Not Officially Part Of Her Job
- St. Larry of the Unflattering Pleated Khakis
- St. Otis the Elevator
- St. Sisn’t, patron of proper grammar
via woot